Experiencing some stress is unavoidable, and stress can be felt during happy or difficult situations.
Although it is impossible to control everything, we can choose how to reduce or alleviate stress by avoiding, altering, adapting, or accepting what comes our way.
1. Avoiding
Stress avoidance is not about isolating ourselves at home, or avoiding anxiety provoking events such as a job interview. It is about limiting the stress created by procrastination, or failing to plan, prioritize, or strategize.
For example, we can implement better time management by accomplishing the day’s most pressing task before tuning into Twitter. We can try ideas for limiting procrastination (there are plenty of ideas available online), and group together our weekly errands so they are managed in one trip.
2. Altering
By assessing a situation we can sometimes change it - or parts of it - so it’s more to our liking. This is often accomplished through effective communication. People who have polished their communication skills can validate how it makes life and relationships simpler, and less stressful.
For example, we might express our emotions by using “I statements,” instead of keeping our feelings stuffed inside, or rashly spewing them out. I statements might be, “I feel hurt when you tease me about my weight, because I don’t think you're really kidding”; or, “The increased workload and fast turnaround time are frustrating me; is there a way to ease the work flow and still be productive?”
3. Adapting
Adapting is applying intelligence to outwit a stressful situation that cannot be changed. This often involves altering the way we think, or looking at something from a different perspective.
For example, we can practice mindfulness, which is maintaining a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. This inhibits negative thinking and self-criticism. Instead of expecting perfection, we can opt for the surprise and beauty of unintended results. A change of perspective may be had by exercising gratitude, and by setting the day’s problems within the big picture—will these frustrations matter next month, or next year?
We can also alter our point of view. The disappointment of a canceled night out because your friends have a sick child also creates an opportunity to finish the puzzle you started, catchup on housekeeping, or relax and watch a ball game.
4. Accepting
Often, there is nothing we can do to change a situation. Our two options are spinning our wheels in resistance, or accepting the unalterable. We can cultivate acceptance by talking to others about our feelings, work on forgiving others for hurts that cannot be undone, and by exercising self compassion.
Inspired by: Mayo Clinic
Photo credit: Mike Hoff / flickr creative commons
