Your symptoms definitely sound like OCD to me. As Ligeia recommended, see a psychiatrist who specializes in the treatment of OCD. He/she can make the proper diagnosis based on your symptoms. Also, this doctor can look at the medications that your family doctor placed you on and decide if they are the ones that will help you.
Effexor is from the SSRI group of medications, which are the type most commonly used for the treatment of OCD. Xanax is an anti-anxiety medication which is helpful in extreme cases of anxiety. It can be addictive if taken over time, so discuss that with your doctor. How long have you been on the medication? The Xanax has an immediate effect for general anxiety, but the Effexor has to build up in your system over time to be effective on the OCD. It may take as long as twelve weeks, but sometimes much shorter. So be patient.
I congratulate you for taking steps to get help. There are lots of OCDers who are reluctant to do that. It sounds like you have had the full gamut of OCD thoughts. This should point out to all others who are reading your post that it doesn't really matter what the subject matter of OCD is. If you have OCD, you can have many fears, one constant fear, or fears that change as time goes by. OCD is an anxiety disorder that keeps you worried all the time, no matter what the worry is. Here are your own words, and it is a good description of how OCD works: "It seems like I have just always needed something in my life to fret over. My mind is in a constant state of turmoil."
See how the Christian therapist works out, but you really need to see an OCD therapist who can teach you how to handle the OCD thoughts with exposure therapy. By the way, whenever you have an urge to "tell" something, that is a compulsion. You think that if you tell, it will relieve the anxiety. It will only help temporarily and then the fears will come back stronger. I would not recommend giving in to the compulsion and telling a family about something that happened many years ago. It will not help anyone feel better. Good luck and post again anytime.
John 16's Mom