what is wrong with me?

what is wrong with me? all my life ive felt different and isolated in some way from everyone else. ive never particularly been a social outcast, always had friends, many female friends too, but never a girlfriend. never kissed a girl. anxiety problems around people who i felt intimidated me up until about 3 years ago when i was 15, e.g. couldnt make eye contact, stutter, etc although i still get it sometimes. since then i do nothing but smoke weed and drink alcohol take amphets to escape mind. failed a levels (im british) and now i feel like i failed parents. gone to college to do music, but still cant consentrate or bring myself to do even the tinyest bit of work. im addicted to wikipedia and 4chan. feel like nothing has meaning or value, people around the world are trying so hard for nothing. i have a very cynical view of people in general, and myself. majority of my friends/aquatnaces are following all these shitty trends and average teen lives. pisses me off. so what is wrong? help would be greattly appreciated

It sounds like you may be suffering from major depression. A lot of the things you are feeling are very common for someone your age as well, depressed or not. Our teenage years can be a tough time, especially for someone sensitive who suffers from shyness and anxiety. As an anxious person you are likely overly aware of the way people sometimes treat each other and this sort of stuff can lead to cynicism if you do not deal with it properly. I would recommend going to a therapist to discuss some of these feeling in more depth, particularly with your social interactions.

In the frame of mind you’re in drugs and alcohol can be very dangerous and exacerbate your feelings. A lot of people try and make a claim for safe marijuana usage, but it does affect your brain chemistry and can trigger mental disorders if you are so predisposed. Remember too that marijuana affects your motivation and concentration, so this is definitely not helping you focus.

So your first step is to see and psychologist to see if you are suffering from depression and to discuss your feelings and anxiety. If you are depressed he or she may recommend seeing a psychiatrist for anti-depressants in addition to therapy. And secondly you should stop your drug and alcohol abuse immediately. Therapy or no, you are not going to start feeling better taking all of these numbing substances. They may momentarily take your mind of your feelings, but it is not a way to get better.

Best of luck,
Dr. Williams

i just need someone to tell me what is wrong with me. i keep thinking maybe it is just me and there is nothing wrong.. but then all of a sudden im roaring crying and why? i dont know.. most of the time nothing has happened and i just cry .. i dont understand it at all and it makes me really fustrated and i get all worked up.
i dont talk to anyone about anything, alot of people in my famiy rely on me, why? i dont know. i dont know the answer to so many questions. im throwing up with the fustration of everything and cant sleep at all at night. i stay wide away just thinking about everything that is going on.. i dont eat one minute and the next im surrounded with food.. rubbish.. nothing healthy what so ever. i go out and drink myself into a state just to fix things for a few hours. i lose my temper so easily and end up i a state..going as far as breaking something or other around me. i put on a brave face all day everyday until im by myself. i dont want to dissapoint anyone and im terrified to go to a doctor.

please help