I'm over this, please help!

Hey,

I am not gonna give you a sugar coated response, because I know how much more it hurts when people tell you it will get better, but they dont tell you how it will get better, and they dont understand why you suffer. It will be a rough road ahead, I have been through this. How long have you had this illness? If it is still in the early stages, it is much more easy to treat, a little therapy and some meds should do it. For me, it is in the late stages of HOCD, I have had it for about 4-5 years now, and it seems like I am in the worst of it. I know it will still get worse for me. I am almost 100% suicidal all the time, but it doesnt have to be like this for you. Get treatment, put your mind on something else, you seem to have courage, you still have that spark of hope in you to get better, and I think you are doing the right thing, you still care to get better. Remember hope is your best friend, and you need to kindle that spark of hope into a fire. Stay strong. You have the courage to get through it. Lots of people have dealt with HOCD properly and recovered, what they have in common is that they have hope and courage and sought treatment early. Dont get crushed by the anxiety, you need to find a way to deal with the anxiety, I shadow box, but when the anxiety really hits, I too have problem dealing with it. I too suffer from low self-esteem. I too have to deal with other shit in daily life, and sometimes everything else combined with HOCD drives me to the edge. Kick down the wallls of HOCD that keep you locked in. Those walls are just illusions of fears. I wish you the best in the future. You have the courage and the will, and that is extremely important. As for me, it almost seems too late, I am on my last legs, the inner strength has been exhausted. I live life day by day, the next day is just the same as the one before. Pain.

Hi Lovelovelove,

The best person to ask about your plan is the therapist with whom you are working.

That being said, I don't think you can convince yourself that you "don't care anymore".

As for your decision to "agree with your thoughts" - I don't think this will work because your thoughts significantly conflict what you feel inside and with how you perceive yourself. A better plan would be to accept the thoughts rather than fight them. (Easier said than done, I realize.)

Part of the vicious cycle of OCD is that people constantly fight the obsessions. The more you fight them, the more power you give them. Does that make sense? So, rather than "agreeing with them", see if you can begin to accept them. By accepting them I mean accept that they are there, that they are very annoying, and that they are JUST thoughts - nothing more.

Now again, I encourage you to talk to your therapist about all of this - and proceed only if he or she feels that it won't be couterproductive to the work you are currently doing in therapy.

As for all of this being unfair - yes, it is unfair. Unfortunately, none of us knows why life seems to bring so many challenges into one person's life, while others seem to have almost everything go their way.

I commend you for working hard to deal with this challenging disorder. Keep working with your therapist, and see if accepting the thoughts (rather than agreeing with them) works for you. (Just don't expect miracles over night - it's a process!)