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I've been on medication since age 14-20 and went off 6 months ago. During the time I went on I felt emotionally numb. I thought this would go away once off but it hasn't. I still feel numb. I can't feel music or love, deep emotions like those and those were the things that gave life meaning to me. I am wondering if anyone has been in the same situation and got their emotions back. I am scared my brain is changed because I developed on them. Thank you.
Since you did not say what you were taking, I am going to assume that you were on antidepressants these past six years. If so, a feeling of being emotionally numb as you described is certainly one of the side effects that bother people the most.
Regarding still feeling this way upon going off of them, there could be a few reasons. For starters, you may just be depressed, as what you are reporting are symptoms of depression as well. Seeing as how you were on medication in the first place (presumably SSRI antidepressants), it is quite possible that even if you did not start the meds because of depression, it so often co occurs with other anxiety disorders you may just have developed that as well. People with anxiety disorders are much more likely to experience major depression than others.
Another possibility is that the drugs simply have not been out of your system long enough for all the side effects to go away. As you may know SSRIs have a long half-life, so not only do they take a while to start working, they also take a while to stop affecting you as well. Six months seems a bit long, but there are people that report withdrawal symptoms much later than that even. There is some speculation of the existence of SSRI withdrawal syndrome, but there is debate on this. I have personally heard some terrible stories of people getting off their drugs. Fact of the matter is, SSRIs are relatively new in the grand scheme of things, so the effects of long term usage is still not completely known.
That being said, SSRIs are generally thought to be quite safe. I would not be worried that they permanently changed your brain because you were still developing, and have never heard of something like this happening.
Another possibility is that you have OCD (circumstantial evidence being that you are on this website asking a somewhat OCD question) and you are obsessing that your emotions have been damaged. Also, if you were on meds for some other condition it may be worsening now that you have stopped the medication as well.
Anyway, all of this has been based speculation that you were using SSRIs. Even if you were not however, this same analysis can apply to many other psychiatric medicines. Having difficulties coming off your meds is common so do not feel like you are the only one. You should also tell your doctor how you feel so he or she can determine whether your original problem is flaring again, if you are suffering from depression or just dealing with withdrawal symptoms.
More about SSRIs at http://www.brainphysics.com/howprozacworks.php
All the best,
Dr. Williams
Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment: www.ocdproject.org
I am not depressed, I do things regularly and enjoy myself but I just can not feel deep emotions or feel passionate about anything like I could when I felt something or was moved. I have a lover and do not feel strong or deep emotions, they are all flat. I know they exist in me but I can't feel them. The fact that there are no long term studies is what worries me though. The studies I did read, looking into the issue, stated brain changes with SSRIs in development but they were in rats so I can't be clear with how that changes the human brain. Thank you for your response, I guess time will tell.
I am not depressed, I do things regularly and enjoy myself but I just can not feel deep emotions or feel passionate about anything like I could when I felt something or was moved. I have a lover and do not feel strong or deep emotions, they are all flat. I know they exist in me but I can't feel them. The fact that there are no long term studies is what worries me though. The studies I did read, looking into the issue, stated brain changes with SSRIs in development but they were in rats so I can't be clear with how that changes the human brain. Thank you for your response, I guess time will tell.