I have had HOCD & S.O's for years now, I am going onto CBT & on pills, but one night I got drunk and did some stuff with a guy, it has scared me alot that maybe it is not ocd?? has this happened to anyone else please help

Submitted by highlow Wed 06/30/2010

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Thank you so much for taking

Submitted by highlow on Thu, 07/01/2010 - 9:24am.

Thank you so much for taking your time out to read this ! I have had OCD
> all my life, and in recent years it has got so bad with sexual worries that
> I am on pills, and going onto CBT which made me fell better, scared about it but better, I told some
> friends that I had gay worries sometime before ( I regret it a lot) and they said 'just come
> out' & 'women do not seem to like you anyway' they can pick up on things like this (being gay)
it confused me so much but I could not do it even if I tried, it got me
> worried. Anyways I came back from abrord 2 weeks ago where I have been for
> the first time in a long time, romanticy involved with my teen sweet heart. I have always
> been in love with her for ten years, we decided to call it a day because of
> the distance, she as now found anther BF , I was really sad over that, anyways
> I went to my friends house who is gay and we got really drunk we stared
> talking about sex, gay and & being straight and I thought this is a good
> way of finding out I can handle it, or maybe I wanted it ??? I do not know :( (in a drunken frame of mind of course), he went down on
> me and then I did it on him & I stopped it thinking I can not do this, I think I even cryed??
> woke up the next morning hung over and upset about it, it was like a bad dream I know I am not gay now ?? ''but why would I do that''?? It has contradicted my ocd & I think maybe it is not now?? is it?? I have
> been crying and having panic attacks for a week not getting out of bed I
> have told a few friends & my CBT lady and they said do not worry about it. :(
>

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