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Your concerns about taking a plane are not uncommon. Many people struggle with a fear of flying and a fear of heights. In fact, the fear of flying has a long and specific name called "Pteromerhanophobia." For people like you, just thinking about flying can cause increased breathing rate, light-headedness, or nausea.
You are describing a specific phobia. This is when facing the feared object or situation brings on a panic attack or severe anxiety. Such phobias are more than an extreme fear; they are irrational. But just knowing that is not enough to help deal with the problem. Fears like flying are very easy to treat by a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. It may be scary, but it's worth it to get on a plane to see your family.
Learn more about specific phobias here: http://www.anxietystudycenter.org/specific-phobias.php
Best of luck,
Dr. Williams
Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment: http://www.ocdproject.org