The Vicious Cycle of Severe OCD: Lianka's Story

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This article was written exclusively for BrainPhysics.com by Lianka van Schalkwyk. She discusses her struggle with severe OCD, how the disorder began and eventually consumed her life, and what she has found to be helpful.

It started when I was about 11 or 12. My parents owned a café and got robbed at gunpoint. No one knows, but it is said that the traumatic event could have triggered my OCD.

I don’t remember my OCD starting slow. The first memory I have of it was that I couldn’t put the TV remote down. It felt like I was trapped, and the anxiety that came with it was overwhelming.

It got worse from there and completely ruined my life by the age of 17. I could not dress myself or sit down. I had to do everything over long periods of time. I could hardly do anything. It was hell, and my depression drove me to suicidal thoughts.

My parents didn’t believe in psychologists, so I had to go without help. One night during Sunday school I spoke to the reverend and asked him for help with my OCD. He tried to help but later told my parents they should take me to a psychologist.

A Nightmare at the Hospital

I was diagnosed with severe OCD. Not long after, I was hospitalized to do tests on me. Things went horribly wrong in the hospital.

I was drugged with sleeping medication to the point where I couldn’t wake up and even fainted a few times. I remember the nurses force-feeding me ice cream while I was still very much asleep.

Apparently I was also found naked in the shower after standing there for hours, unable to get out due to my OCD. I have no memory of this.

Medication and Therapy

When I turned 18, I was allowed to sign for medication to treat my OCD without my parents’ approval. My mother refused it when my psychologist suggested it.

The medication helped, but it made me sick and I had to quit it. My psychologist immigrated, and I then quit therapy altogether.

Last year I received therapy and new medication. These work, but the horrid OCD thoughts and all other symptoms are still present, just less severe.

In Part II of this article, Lianka describes the vicious cycle of anxiety and obsessive thoughts, the difficulty of dealing with the disorder without understanding from her family, how OCD affects her romantic relationships, and what she has found to be helpful.

 
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