Sponsored Links


Who am I now?

As I write this post, this one I have been putting off for a few months now, I am beginning to tear up because of how far I have come.  I never thought I would get to this place of “ok”.  Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever be really “ok”, but I am finally off the lonely shore I had been waiting on my whole life.

I will begin at the beginning, and will warn you, this is a longer one than I usually write, but I believe the details are necessary for this story to really breathe.

I had just finished 9 months of therapy and although I left on a bad note, I felt good.  In short, my therapist crossed a line and I decided to terminate treatment.  I left a few months ago, but I got a book on ACT and I felt confident I could do the rest of the work myself. Good days and bad; the usual.  At this time, I was dealing with some very frustrating health problems.  I was getting sick with systemic infections almost 4 times a month.  I had just gotten off birth control, which if youve read the rest of my blog, you know I hate that stuff.  I tried it because I felt I had exhausted my other options and I was desperate to try to get things fixed.

The birth control caused me to develop a fear of food.  Out of nowhere, I was terrified of my kitchen.  I stood in front of the freezer balling because I could not eat.  My anxiety around expiration dates and pesticides had become a phobia and I was losing.  My husband had finally convinced me to eat, but I could hardly get it down with the fear in the back of my throat.  After a few days off the pill, I was getting my taste for food back.

I hurt my neck somehow; just woke up with it and after a ridiculously long search for a chiropractor, I found one.  I walked into his office and here is where things started to get interesting.  I began to tear up.  I’m not much a religious or spiritual person, but there was something just so compassionate about this dr.  His energy was just healing.  He asked me about my health (not just my back) and after I described my issues, he gave me a couple suggestions I had not heard of and since I was ready to throw my naturopath who prescribed birth control to me to the curb, I decided to try it.  It was a sleep aid and I slept that night like it was easy.  I went back, eager to tell him everything in hopes he could help me with all my other issues.  He suggested I see his mother who taught him all he knows.

I have seen all kind of doctors, naturopaths, specialist….you name it.  I was sick of being sick.  I felt weak.  OCD, sleep problems, systemic infections, gluten intolerance, hormonal imbalance (terrible pms)… I was over it!  I went to see his mother, and she had the same healing vibe that her son, the chiropractor, had.  I felt validated when I told her what was going on and she listened.  It was just eerie at how much she knew about my issues.  She gave me her diagnosis and suggestions, and I left with some supplements and nutritional guidelines.

It has been a few months and I’m still sleeping well since that night.  I stopped smoking marijuana and I’m ok without it.  I have only had a couple infections.  My husband told me I seemed strangely calm over dinner and I realized I was.  My OCD is almost gone.  The radio in my head screaming awful things at me all day and night is mostly quiet.

It’s mainly during my period (when everything seems worse) where I get some real glimpses at who I was with the anxiety and obsessions.  I don’t even feel like the same person.

I heard someone say that to be truly healed, you must heal everything.  I think this speaks a lot about the connections of the body.  I did not seek help from this naturopath because of my OCD; I thought that was hopeless.  In repairing the rest of me, it’s almost like all the pressure was removed and my OCD was not being pushed so much.

I am now learning who I am without being defined by my OCD.   This is scary and difficult, but it’s an adjustment and it will take time.  I am still and will always be a believer of health and organic philosophies; that the body and mind are most at peace when everything is in balance and if OCD has taught me anything, work must be done to maintain results.

I still have good days and bad, and I think OCD will always be a part of me at least a bit.  The challenge for me is to find strength in myself in a new world without OCD ruling my life.

I will continue to write and post videos about what I think, what I have learned and the usual.  And of course, I hope to help others in pain, because I know that we can’t do this alone.

Stay strong everyone.


Sponsored Links


Call to Speak to a Specialist

Call 1-877-331-9311 to discuss treatment options if you or a loved one needs help with an OCD, Anxiety, Depression and/or mental health disorder.

Related Articles

  • addiction news thumbnailObsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a particular type of anxiety disorder that is known for causing uncontrollable and unwanted thoughts and actions. These thoughts and actions lead to repetitive, …
  • addiction news thumbnailObsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a serious mental condition that can impair the day-to-day lives of people suffering from it. Thanks to superficial, pop culture depictions of people afflicted wi…
  • addiction news thumbnailObsessive compulsive disorder is unique to each person who lives with it. Generally it can be described as an anxiety disorder which traps a person in an endless cycle of repetitive thoughts. These …
  • addiction news thumbnailAnafranil is the brand name for tricyclic antidepressant, clomipramine. Originally developed in the 1960s by Swiss drug manufacturer Geigy, it has been utilized ever since for an assortment of mental …


The information provided on brainphysics.com is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between a patient/site visitor and his/her health professional. This information is solely for informational and educational purposes. The publication of this information does not constitute the practice of medicine, and this information does not replace the advice of your physician or other health care provider. Neither the owners or employees of brainphysics.com nor the author(s) of site content take responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, procedure, exercise, dietary modification, action or application of medication which results from reading this site. Always speak with your primary health care provider before engaging in any form of self treatment. Click here to reads our complete Terms of Use.

OCD? A Counselor Can Help

All Sessions Start for Free


BrainPhysics.com Social

Join The Cause on Facebook

Sponsored Links


Online Support Groups

visit SupportGroups.com

SupportGroups.com provides a support network for those facing life's challenges. Click on the following links to get a helping hand in a confidential, caring environment.

Support Groups


Login or Sign Up