The dialog is very useful, and it is certainly good to get advice, counsel, etc., from "both sides of the aisle," so to speak. I have found web sites that are very much against masterbation, oral sex, and anal sex. Then I have found web sites that are against masterbation, FOR oral sex, and against anal sex (that always approach anal sex exclusively as homosexuality, by the way), and then I have found web sites for masterbation, for oral sex, and against anal sex (for the same reasons), and then finally, some web sites are for any of the above, by only within marriage of man and woman--not with man-on-man sex.
Believe me when I say I am extensively researching this.
My studies have led to some impressive knowledge that I did not have before, which will prove to be good regardless of whether my wife and I choose to practice anal sex. Did you know that the word "sodomite," in the Bible means the "submissive" partner in homosexuality, and "homosexual" means the "active" partner in homosexuality? In some writings I found on the web site, favoring homosexuality, THEY even refer to the "submissive" as the one receiving anal sex. "Sodomy," from the original Biblical languages, HAS to refer to male-on-male sex.
As history progressed, other varied sexual practices began to come under the title of "sodomy," and the traslation into English also caused a broader range of sexual practices to fall into the category of "sodomy," because in English we don't have words to cover the "active," and the "submissive," we just refer to them both as homosexuals. But "sodomy" in English has covered beastiality, oral sex, and anal sex, and not just male-on-male sex, but also it has driven its way into a marriage, or man with female sex (which the Bible never did).
So where the Bible was specifically addressing practices of male-on-male sex only (a man putting another man into a submissive sex role), and calling this an abomination, we as English speaking people have taken this and stretched it to condemn many other sex acts as well, and put them under the label of "sodomy," and then made sodomy illegal. The purpose of the laws were to watch whatever homosexuals did, and then make those things illegal. So we realized they perfomed oral sex on each other, and anal sex on each other. We called both sodomy, and made both illegal. And of course, beastiality was also called sodomy, and the Bible does not call this sodomy.
So how far do you think you would get if you said married couples can no longer practice oral sex? Well, legally, in English speaking coutries, under orthodox canon law, this is illegal. In the United States, oral sex is still illegal in about 18 states. At one point it was illegal in all 50 states, but slowly these laws are being overturned.
What I am realizing, is that we have made things illegal for married couples to do, that God never did, and is silent on.
This is certainly the case in oral sex. What I believe is that this is also the case in anal sex, practiced between a man and woman (not man-on-man) within the safety and security of the marriage bed. While in the English language, this is called sodomy, and we have made laws against it, God never did so. The true definition of sodomy in scripture has to have the man-on-man aspect to it, or it is not sodomy. And further, a sodomite is the submissive partner to the homosexual act.
I have come to believe in my studies that if a husband and wife are married, that God is basically silent on what they can and cannot do together in their own marriage bed. Mutual consent is important, but to go above and beyond that is reaching and stretching beyond the commands of God. A society can be impressed or abhored by any certain action, and can make laws to show the world what their acceptance level is of any certain practice, and this is what we in America have done with our sodomy laws. And these laws were specifically designed to quench homosexuality. They were not designed to limit the actions of married couples, although they did serve to reach into the marriage bed as well.
So is anal sex ok, by God's standard. Is anal sex ok by the standards of the United States? These are two different answers, and it can change depending upon what State you live in too.
In Minnesota, where I live, all sodomy laws have now been repealed. This means that anybody, whether married or not, whether man with woman, or male-on-male, can now legally practice sodomy. But God's law still says that man-on-man sex, whether homosexual (dominant) or sodomite (submissive) is an abomination. Homosexuals fought to get this law overturned. What I think they have done, is to actually get the government out of the bedrooms of married couples (man and wife) where God all along has been silent.
The health issues that you addressed are very real. Here is something I am still researching. One web site said that as you should always do in vaginal sex (wear a condom), you should also do in anal sex. Why? Because of the transmission of HIV/AIDS, and other STD's. The assumption here is that of multiple partners outside of marriage. That is why they say condoms should be worn in vaginal sex. Certainly, a married couple that is not having sex with anyone else outside of their marriage does not need to wear condoms, unless they are choosing that as a form of birth control. But a married couple does not even have to worry about STD's, and so the condom is not even necessary at all. Now is this also true if that same couple decides to practice anal intercourse? That is something I am still researching. Not as far as STD's go, or HIV/AIDS, because that would be an impossibility. But are there other health risks that would warrant the wearing of a condom for anal sex for a committed couple in marriage? I think that if you limit the discussion in that way, you greatly reduce the risk. But I am still checking this out.
This got lengthy, sorry about that.
Man very deprived
>>��Hey Mr. "Man very deprived",
>>��I have thought of what you 've said; though I haven't any idea what books you have read to support you assertion about anal sex being safe, I still insist on my view: anal sex is really prohibitive. understandable even by general layman without any medical expertise.
>>��What is contained at the anus? It is faeces and excretion. you surely can't always be sure if your anus is clean but inserting your penis into that ass-hole, may leave some bit of the excreta inside the penis that may eventually cause infection. It may happen even though both of the couples are healthy. (unlike the situation when "normal" sex is going on with vagina)
>>��In addition, there is no lubricant inside the anal canal; despite so, why is oral sex okay but not anal sex? It is simply because saliva is sterilizing but excretion inside the anal canal is not. You can't rely on your penis to sterilize, unlike the vaginal fluid and semen. that must protect the sperms from bacteria or reproduction is meaningless. Hey i am not a medical expert. But it is quite reasonable to think about it right? you don't need any medical expertise; you still can tell it must be so.
>>��You can again imagine another situation if you eat with your nostril instead of your month, please tell me, Mr "Man very deprived", does it cause pleasure to you? I can't deny there can be some people who are into it very much. Even though I am just a layman, not a medical practitioner, I can tell it causes infection to your respirotary canal. It is just common senses.
>>��I only take a glimpse over the web-pages about anal sex. Unlike masterbation, I didn't read them in details. It doesn't keep me from realizing that almost all web-page supports the pleasure of anal sex. May you be reminded, web-pages and articles published can be commercially oriented. It tries to please the surfers for more market share so advertising income may rise. If it finds out the market goes in favor of anal sex (in fact, anal sex pleases number of people), do you open a web-page or publish books against anal sex that you subject yourself to declining surfers' number and advertising income and sponsors? (I bet that's why you can't find a Christian-written books in favor of anal sex to convince your wife. For ethical reasons, most Christians may take the stance against anal sex; leaving alone this issue, they needn't face the economical dilmma and ethical remarks for and against their view that is of no benefit to them, in terms of fame and evangelism)
>>��The situation is the same asin masterbation, most books and web-pages are opened in favor of it. I am quite against it, not because of biblical teachings (that i find some justification in other threads i posted), but because my experience assures me of the influence of masterbation to my healthy life ("more attentive" and "less dizziness" and "smarter performance" when I practised no masterbation for a month)
>>��But masterbation is different from anal sex. Ethically, it is apparently okay for masterbation. It is quite natural use of sex. But anal sex is not. It is not hygienic.