How's it going? I guess not that great, based on your recent posts. Why don't you give the medication a try if your doctor suggests that to you. It is only an investment of about twelve weeks of your time, at the most, to see if it would help. I've noticed that you are seeking a lot of reassurance now and the compulsions are strong. Unless you are in a rigorous behavior therapy pattern of seeing a therapist at least once a week, you may need some extra help. Why drag these awful feelings out any longer than necessary? Make a plan for yourself on what you want to do to get better. Then follow through with it, whatever you decide. Sometimes when you are down with OCD, depression, a bad life, or whatever else, it is hard to pick yourself up and start doing something to help yourself. But you just need to push yourself into action, rather than inaction. Sure, the medicines have some side effects. I have a feeling that you may be worried about the sexual libido ones. But that doesn't happen to everyone. Plus, that is something you can deal with later if it even happens. It would, in my opinion, be a lot better than the OCD thoughts. I know that I'm fussing at you, but I want you to get better, Ryan. You can do this. Just get your determination out of the attic and use it. I pray everyday for you and all the other sufferers to get better. Take care, and God guide you in your decision.
John 16's Mom