Posted by Lisa on May 23, 2002:
In Reply to: some more.. posted by LIGEIA on May 23, 2002:
>> I feel for you. I don't have the same OCD you do but when I get into the spiral I feel sick to my stomache at the thoughts and I wish God would just strike me down before I think one more thought that could offend him or against him. It sucks! I got this way by watching a movie I was scared of as a kid. I thought well I'm an adult now so I will see it as a grownup. I was trying to get over the fear but only made it worst. I didn't know about OCD then. I could kick myself for watching that stupid movie. I knew better. I use to be really close to God but now I feel like I'm in a void and don't know what to believe. I don't even feel like I can tell my family exactly what OCD I have because I feel so ashamed.
My sister was suffering with fear of knives for a while. She couldn't hold or look at a large knife. I didn't really even realize it, but she now says she feels better. She didn't use any medication or CBT she says she just was stubborn about it and made up her mind not to let this thing get the best of her.
Hang in there:) God Bless!
reading all this made me feel i am a closet case..Some of the girls said that they have always liked men, but a certain fact made them realise they are bisexual, and after that they were sure they were just gay, all along..I am convinced i am in denial, even though i've never had butterflies in my stomach for a girl...I cant imagine saying to my boyfriend i am a lesbian and leaving him for a girl..I am not repulsed by his touch, i just ask myself if i really enjoy it.I want him in my life.
>> This thing will never let me be happy with him..I want to kill myself