Posted by sorry to bother everyone on May 23, 2002:
hello, I know that reassurance is so bad to get better, but I really want to know if anyone can relate to what Im going through. I suffer from homophobic ocd and have posted here before. The problem that I am having is whenever I feel "not like myself" (I have read about depersonalization, but Im afraid that thats not what this is..), my mind would automatically say "this is a gay way to act" or "right now you're acting gay" I dont even know what I was doing but then all of the sudden because of this, whenever I get a weird feeling, my mind automatically tells me that I must be gay, its in these moments when I really dont feel like myself and get really really sad, I get afraid that Ive been in denial, then I worry that Im a ego-dystonic homosexual, all those fears come into my head, I dont know what to think, I FEEL like I am gay but I dont know whether it is only because my mind flagged this particular feeling, (or I should say my ocd flagged this particular feeling). Does anyone else feel this way? I cant stand it anymore, I am soo afraid. Please help. thanks and God Bless.