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Posted by gabrielle on May 27, 2002:
my boyfriend (hyperfocus) has visited this chat room several times in the past and he shares his messages and responses with me. we have been dating for about a year and a half and are very close. he started showing signes of HOCD in late Febuary. it has been very hard on both of us and our relationship. even before we knew what HOCD was i have always maintained that he is not gay and that once he got the proper treatment he would be fine. things were hard for the first few months before he was diagnosed and found a therapist who was knowlegdeable about HOCD. he goes to therapy twice a week for an hour at a time,which has helped a little but doesn't seem to be enough. I can't help but think his therapist is a bit dismissive. Everyday is a rollercoster of emotions for him. I've heard of intesive therapy that involves going to a treatment facility every day for several weeks to months. ARe these effective in helpiing people with HOCD? Also sometimes I feel that I cause him undue stress because he thinks he brings me down. Should we spend less time together? I am in college and on summer break right now so since I don't have many obltgiations I end up spending about 20 hours a day with him. He has gotten to the point where he has no other close friends and since he just graduated is trying to find a job, but won't realisticly be able to apply for or keep one because of how much this is crippling him. I try to offer support and love, but I don't know how to be there for him. I don't reassure him anymore and try to stay positive, but more and more often lately I find myself being effected by the rise and fall in his attitude. the man that i fell in love with hardly ever appears anymore. through out this all I still maintain that I he will be fine eventually, but I guess I don't know how to be his friend, companion, and fight for him through all of this. please any advice on anything I have mentioned would be greatly appreicated. Thank you.

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