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My girlfriend gets angry when i hug/kiss her (or her-me) for no reason. She has no problem with hugs from anyone but me, and there is no reason for this.It just happens She is taking the SSRI lexapro for anxiety.Could this cause her to push me away?

Hi Laocoon7, I can

Hi Laocoon7,
I can certainly imagine how frustrating this is for you. But I do need to ask the obvious question - have you asked your girlfriend why she gets angry when you hug her or kiss her?

My hunch is that it is not due to the medication, although I can't say for sure. Irritability is a possible side effect of Lexapro (although not one of the more common ones). However, if it was caused by the medication it would likely be more general - i.e., she would get angry about various things, and at everyone, not just you when you hug her.

Lexapro can also cause a decrease in libido (sexual desire). If she thinks you want sex when you hug her or kiss her, and she's not interested, then perhaps she gets angry as a way to avoid it. You could ask her if that is why she pushes you away. But even if she says it is, that doesn't mean it is the medication - it might be, but it could also have to do with your relationship and how she feels about you.

Without more information, I'm inclined to think her behavior is due to something separate from the medication - something she is struggling with regarding her feelings about you or intimacy in general. Maybe she can't articulate it yet - sometimes people don't know why they feel a certain way.

People can certainly have emotional side effects from a medication, but it would make more sense (in this case) if she became angry in other situations as well (and if the anger is out of character for her).

I hope that helps a little.

Dr. Cheryl Lane

Yes i've asked her about the

Yes i've asked her about the reason. she said she doesn't know why. It started about the time the doctor upped her dose of lexapro,which is why I figured it could be connected.

She was very affectionate before then, and has always been very affectionate with her previous boyfriends. It is only directed at me, and it happens even during the "heat of the moment." She pushes through it at times, but it really seems to aggravate her.

There hasnt been any real fights between us, but we both know the relationship can't last if there is no affection shared. I'm willing to try anything for her, she and i get along great otherwise.

It could be related to the

It could be related to the medication, but I am still quite doubtful that is the cause. I am more inclined to believe this is an underlying relationship issue.

However, it sounds like she should talk to her doctor about the medication. If she is not also in psychotherapy for her anxiety, I highly recommend that, if it is an option for her. I am not an advocate of medication-only treatment of anxiety or other disorders, as medication treats only the symptoms, not the underlying issues. In psychotherapy, the underlying issues can be addressed and coping skills can be learned. With medication alone, in many cases the symptoms often return once the medication is discontinued.

If the lexapro is helping her anxiety, it could be now that she is feeling better in that regard, other issues are beginning to surface that were previously on the back burner, so to speak.

In the meantime, you may want to back off and not try to be affectionate with her until this is resolved. If you push her to be affectionate and intimate when she doesn't want to be, you risk further damage to the relationship.

I hope for your sake this does resolve, as I'm sure it must be agonizing for you.

Dr. Cheryl Lane

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