induced delusional dissorder

my girlfriend has induced delusions,mainly jealous & persecutory.she uses amphetamine every other week & will binge for 3-4 days of course with no sleep.i tell her just sleep deprivation itself can create problems but she wont listen.ive been seeing her 1 year & the delusions get more frequent & severe.she is alcoholic & prescribed zanax.she is 40 & was sexually abused as a child to what extent i dont know.i realise the impossibility but how/can i reason with her?she has started threatening me with violence,having me beaten up & even killing my dog.she thinks im hacking her computer,being unfaithful & all the standard accusations.i leave her alone but keep getting phone calls,text messages etc.i love her & have known her 20 years we were dear friends until we started dating.i always respond calmly & swear my innocence but no there anything i can/should or shouldnt do?id talk to her family but they believe her.

Neil, You cannot reason with


You cannot reason with her and trying to do so will be futile. She is on a very dangerous path here and needs help. She has become a danger to others and this is only going to get worse. You may need to call the police, 911, or a local mental health crisis line and have someone do a welfare check on her or come assess the situation and see if she meets the criteria for an involuntary hospitalization.

If she had you beaten up - did she do it or someone else? Either way I recommend you press charges - if there is no evidence it may not get anywhere, but you can try. That may be the only way she gets the help she needs. You may feel like you're betraying her but if you ignore this someone else could get hurt (including her).

You say her family believes her - are they not aware that she is regularly using amphetamines?

Ultimately, she needs to stop using. Amphetamines can make people very paranoid, and paranoid individuals can become violent in an attempt to protect themselves from their perceived threats.

Also, alcohol and xanax should never be used together. If taken together, death is a potential side effect as both depress the central nervous system.

This is a very serious situation. If she threatens you again or is violent in any way, contact the police or call 911. She needs help and is unlikely to get it on her own, based on what you describe.

Dr. Lane

She has only threatened

She has only threatened me-because she abstains for a couple of weeks between binges i can tell she recovers
enough to have some doubt in her accusations.She is aware of her susceptibility but has always self medicated in some context i guess to dull her memories,feelings etc.She is a lawyer,has a mortgage,single mom(divorced)has custody of child.She copes so well on so many levels.(her ex has child 4 days of every fortnight which is when she binges)she has no problems raising her son in fact he is a bright happy kid,good school etc. its only relationships where she has problems which is understandable.
Ive never met her family.She isnt close to her mother(says she never showed affection)but seems protective of her father,who,im almost certain,was her abuser.This is why i think her family imply they believe her persecution.
She does see a psychiatrist(who prescribes xanax)but,as ive read,delusions can be hard to diagnose & she otherwise seems quite stable mentally-she does,to her parents knowledge,voluntarily commit herself to drug & alcohol rehab occasionally.
i find the closer she feels to me the more erratic her behavior.She has been diagnosed bi polar,suffers depression,anxiety,has in the past attempted suicide,self harm etc again all the usual symptoms but she is most capable of masking her feelings & has a strong disposition ironically this stops people confronting her.If i try she can open up but ultimately she shuts down.
I do realise im probably wasting my time but what she has suffered can never be comprehended i feel she deserves some peace of mind as any abused person & i dont want to let it go.If i cant have a relationship with her i can accept that but i want to do something to help as she so deserves it.She has had many,mostly short term mostly destructive relationships & we have always been close friends.Our physical connection really seems to make her uncomfortable.
thank you so much for your help till now i havent been able to talk to anyone about this & its killing my conscience..

Neil, Just a few comments in


Just a few comments in response to your latest post. I certainly understand that you are in a difficult position, and that you care deeply about this woman. However, she needs serious help. Perhaps I misunderstood your original post. I thought you had actually been beaten up and that she did kill your dog. I'm glad to hear those were only threats. That being said, they are still very serious threats and should not be tolerated.

Everything you describe suggests she may have borderline personality disorder (the erratic behavior, substance abuse, manipulative threats, etc.). Many borderlines are misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. They often have a history of abuse. Relationships with them are very challenging and rocky.

My guess is that she is not being at all honest with her psychiatrist. No ethical psychiatrist would prescribe xanax to an addict - it is a highly addictive medication. Also, it is meant for short term use only (up to 4 weeks). Ongoing use is not recommended and can lead to dependency.

Either way, until she stops using alcohol and amphetamines, psychiatric treatment is not going to be effective.

The best treatment for her (besides drug rehab - which will only work if she is truly committed to getting sober and sticks with it) would be Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Even if she isn't borderline (although I strongly suspect she is), she would benefit greatly from this type of therapy. It is one of the best therapies for helping people develop healthy coping skills and learn how to regulate their emotions (something she doesn't seem able to do). If you want to help her, see if there is a DBT treatment program in your area and talk to her about going. But remember, until she is ready to get (and receive) help (getting xanax from a psychiatrist is only enabling her, unfortunately), nothing is going to change.

Dr. Lane

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