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Broken Promises, Made Fun Of, Threatened

I just got back from vacation, and my mom ruined it, by bringing her cigarettes with her. I thought I would feel better since my sister threw away 3, because it turns out she lied to my sister as well (who is 18). My sister threw away 3 of them because my mom said there was only a couple, when there was 7. My sister was always a mother to me, besides my actual mom.

My mom again "promised" she was done smoking after that pack. I knew it was to good to be true, when she did it again. My sister found my mom, and dad smoking in the backyard. I saw my sister looking for the pack, because she said she was going to throw them, all, away. My sister said not to worry about it, but that's all I can do... worry.

I can't talk about how I'm sad with my mom. She jokes about everything, I told her what you said, about her maybe being depressed, but she was being sarcastic, and that's the problem, I was being serious, I have no time for my mom being sarcastic all the time. She can't admit I'm struggling and if you met her, it's easy to tell, she's never serious. My sister said there is nothing to do about it. That's just how she is. During the vacation, I took a big risk, and said, "Why would you want to be a mom, if you're just going to joke around all the time", she didn't snap at me because we were around people, and I didn't say it loud enough for everyone to hear.

I don't really want help from a psychiatrist, because I feel threatened when my mom tells me I have to see someone, She threatened me about taking medicine to, and compared me to my uncle who is bipolar. I felt unsupported when she told me these things but, surprise, surprise, she was joking around. All I really want is a mom who could accept me as I am, and know that there is a family there for me. But it's obvious that there not. I've tried talking to my mom, but her sarcastic ways take over. I can't talk to my dad, because I don't get along with him, and smokes too.

What they don't know, is that I have sinus issues, so the smell of the smoke is really strong. I told my mom that, but her only medical advice is "Suck it up". She's careless, and I've called her that before, but she always answers with a questioning face.

I don't know what to do. I don't want medication, I don't want to see a psychiatrist, and all I do want is a mom who is there. My sister said she was fine with it, she's disappointed, but she's not showing emotion. I don't know how I could be the only emotional one in the house. I'm sure I get this from my uncle. I don't know what to do.

Sounds like a complicated

Sounds like a complicated situation. I know the feeling of when I tell my mother to stop smoking, she says she will, but then she doesn't. I also know the feeling of wanting people such as your family to accept you. I could say you should talk to someone you trust, like a close friend or something like that. If you can't do that, then maybe write the feelings down like in a diary. Maybe that can help you. Hope you get better.

Thanks, SasuSaku. I do write

Thanks, SasuSaku.
I do write my feelings down. I have told my close friends about my problems, but sometimes it doesn't work.
It's nice to have someone have the same problem as I do.
Thanks again!

You're welcome. You just have

You're welcome. You just have to think positive, even though it's hard sometimes. Hope it works out ok.

Hi Felicia, The situation you

Hi Felicia,

The situation you are in sounds very challenging. But until you accept the fact that your mother is probably not going to change, and probably not going to stop smoking (at least not any time soon) this is going to keep being a struggle for you. I know that is not easy, but getting upset about something over which you have no control is not helping you.

I think I mentioned in a previous response that you may need to confide in an adult outside your family - someone you can trust who may be able to help in some way - at least someone who can provide an ear when you need to talk.

As for seeing a psychiatrist - I actually don't think that is the best option for you. I think it would be better for you to see a psychologist, clinical social worker, or other therapst. You may not even need medication, but you would benefit from someone who can help you with all the negative feelings you are experiencing.

Dr. Lane

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