My kids are grown and gone. I am bored therefore I am drinking more alcohol. I have signed up for much volunteer work but i still lack the purpose to live i felt. What else can I try?

I am sorry to hear about your situation. It can be sad when your children leave the nest. You may be feeling not just bored, but lonely as well. Some people are more social than others, and really need a good deal of human interaction and social activities to feel happy. And it's not just the amount of interaction, but the quality as well. You may be the sort of person that really needs quality time with other people to feel complete. There is nothing wrong with that. The key here is to identify the need, and then make the necessary changes in your life to meet that need, and in your case that is centered on relationships.

Some people will tell you that you must learn to be comfortable with just yourself before you bring others into your life. I think that is garbage. Humans are designed to be relational, and for some people that is more true than for others. If having close family relationships worked for you in the past, then perhaps it's time to bring new people into your life.

I have a few more comments for you. See the next message.

Best regards,
Dr. Williams

Going through change is never easy, especially when those changes involve what you have considered your very purpose in life (caring for your children). It is understandable that you are unhappy and bored, although I think you realize that drinking is not the solution.

Volunteer work is a great diversion, but probably not enough to fill the void. I suggest you take a few steps back and ask yourself what you would really like to be doing with your life right now. Going back to school? Mastering a musical instrument? Being a mentor to a child in need? What sort of work makes you feel excited? Whatever that is, go do it -- full time.

If nothing excites you, or you follow your heart but you still feel down, then you might be suffering from depression. If that is the case, then you should a therapist to be evaluated for depression and to discuss your situation.

Best of luck,
Dr. Williams