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Brain Physics » Depression » what could be wrong with me?

what could be wrong with me?

Submitted by jon53219 Fri 08/20/2010

well ill try to make this as short and as detailed as possible. im 16 and im gonna be a junior in high school. since about fifth grade my grades started to drop. part of it had to do with that i stopped doing my work as much cause i didnt want everyone thinking i was a nerd. but the main cause of it was i feel asleep in class every day, litteraly every day. i tried to go to sleep earlier and sleeping at the same time every day but it didnt help at all. its also pretty hard for me to go a whole night of sleep without waking up. and when i do wake up i cant fall back to sleep right away. i usually start doing my work, loose focus, then either start day dreaming or i will get really tired and fall asleep. and by really tired i mean REALLY tired, it would be almost impossible to keep my eyes open and id find myself dozing off. not only was that a problem, i also have pretty bad social anxiety. im usually afraid to talk to people cause i think they'll judge me negativly. and everytime i walk past people i would think they are saying bad things about me. the reason i thought this could be some sort of depression is because i get these following symptoms: overeating and loss of appetite, sleeping too much i feel like i have to sleep, i find myself more prone to drug abuse but i try to avoid it, im not as excited to do things anymore unless its getting high, i lost alot of intrest in girls, i dont even try anymore. im pretty sure the drugs ive taken could have made it worse, the two main ones are weed and dxm. and the past few weeks ive been feeling really sick, just like dizzy, it comes and goes. the only way i can get temporaly relief from it is sleeping for a few hours. im not really sure what i could have, if i have anything at all, i have considered asking my dad to take me for a mental health examination but i dont want him to think im depressed.. its really confusing and i dont know what to do. i cannot be falling asleep all the time junior year, i have a few difficult classes. i have thought about seeing if ritalin would be right for me because i read it helps with concentration and mild anxiety and depression. i know for a fact though if i did get it prescribed to me, or any medication, i would not abuse it to get high. i know i have much more potential but i feel i just cant reach that potential.

I have been an anti-everything person for a good couple of years now and I am starting to feel like I want to leave this World, but the thought of leaving my Girls is what stops me, but that doesn't make me feel relieved of my sadness,lack of want to, I don't want to go out, I hate the fact that I need to dress so that I can look acceptable to others, I feel Guilty Everyday about peoples feelings, I don't feel worthy, I am very Lonely and I don't think anyone would hire me after not working for 18 years now.
My life with my husband is flat, we are both frustrated, he because he has needs and me because I don't, so I feel guilty. I am so so sad inside, I don't know what to do or where to go. Everything costs lots of money to get help out there. I feel guilty if I use the family funds to get counciling from a professional. I just want to 'die' I don't like this world we were brought into, it's all a waste of time etc.....PLEASE TELL ME, AM I DEPRESSED OR JUST MOOD SWING, I JUST FEEL REALLY BAD TODAY THAN OTHER DAYS. I FEEL TRAPPED - I HATE MY LIFE. :`/ I AM TAKING 'LEXAMIL 10mg' AND ELTROXIN 0.1mg


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