AM I gay or do i just have HCOD

Hello. Im a 14 year old male. I am attracted to girls and always will be, at least i hope. recently, to see what would happen, i looked at some gay porn. it took a moment, but it gave me an erectin. I was disgusted by what i was seeing, and i never want to be with a man, but when i looked at lesbian porn (what i usually masturbate to) i couldnt get an erection. I looked at the gay stuff again and was still disgusted, but i got erect! I dont know what is happening, but i am scared. Im always asking myself if im gay, and i say no, because i really dont think i am. that stuff is to gross. i tried sticking my finger in my butt, to test, and i was disgusted with myself. ive been crying, freaking out, even contemplating suicide if turned out to be gay. I really do think gay stuff is gross and creepy, no offense to any gays reading this. AM I GAY OR JUST SUFFERING HOCD?!?!?!?!?!

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