Does watching pornography worsen HOCD?

does watching pornography worsen HOCD? I dont know, if it does or doesnt, maybe it is to check myself. I ended up browsing some pornographic photos today. It was tempting, I dont know why. I guess in that way it would be bad. Anyways, I read alot more about people with sexuality identity crisis, and I am definitly not alike any of them. I dont have crushes on guys and I find it quite repulsive to even hold hands with a guy. I have always liked gals, until this HOCD hit me. And you know what, they dont get anxiety, panic attacks, rage, intrusive thoughts, cold sweat, trembling hands, and suicidal thoughts like I do. It seems they are more in control of their mind, and they know that they like their own sex. While, I know I dont like guys, but HOCD is hammering intrusive thoughts into my mind and making me doubt and doubt, and sometimes it makes me think overly logically, to the point that every small detail must be taken into account. Almost like a battle in my head. They are true homosexuals, I am a mental illness sufferer. Now I cant even look at a guy in the eye without fear, but Im sure they can do that, but maybe feel ashamed after (thats what most of them tell me), I dont feel ashamed, I dont get any feeling but fear and panic, I want to barf out my guts after. Anyways, should I start pornography again? It has been a long time, since I quit. Would it worsen my symptoms?


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