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Please help with this.

So i told you in another article that im like 90 percent sure i have had this since i was 12 but since exactly last year it was constantly on my mind but it has gotten so bad lately im like not spiking all the time im no where near the way i was last year,last year i still felt feminine i still looked at guys. Now for like the past week its like i dont want to do anything im constantly in my head saying im gay every time i see a guy im thinking im gay, it is like this is taking over its like i have convinced myself i am, i dont know what to do,no matter what it could be it could be my baby puppy who is a girl giving her momma a kiss and i will concentrate down there and get a groinal response i have had really bad dreams lately. What is this last year i would have never had these thoughts they would have disgusted me i dont know what to do.I did something with a boy when i was 7 like i said in the last post but i have never kissed a boy and im scared i wont like and now i couldnt like it if i wanted to because im so deep into this. I have tried to think maybe i could be bi but the thought of having to be with a girl made me cry i have always met guys that liked me and then like been attached because i have such low self esteem but now idk what is going on i feel masculine i look at myself in the mirror and im like i look like a lesbian but i dont and my eyebrows were bushy because i had never gotten them done before and one day i was in the bathroom crying and shaving them off because i thought they looked masculine im not homophobic my best guy friend is gay my parents would love me no matter what and last year my mom just thought it was bad anxiety and i told what i was worried about and after a month of nonstop crying no sleep and very limited eating i told her maybe im bi just to shut my mind up it worked for maybe an hour and the idea wouldnt stick i just want to be the old happy me i used to be.

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