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Brain Physics » OCD » Dear Dr. Williams

Dear Dr. Williams

Submitted by grizzly700 Wed 12/08/2010

Dear Dr. Williams

I have been really confused for the past several months or so. These unwanted thought happend before and went away now but are back. I think its HOCD, I was told by a phycologist that I had ocd before. I thought in the past that I was gay but always loved women and was easly aroused by women. I can tell when other guy are attractive, but im not attracted to them. And before a was ok with that, but know its bothering me so much. I suffered from this before and it whent away. Sometimes I see a guy and I think ok hes not ugly and that cause so much anxiaty in me that I obsess over it, it also happens now with any man. I have a girlfriend know for 6 months and she is so beautiful perfect for me in everyway. When we fist started going out I was ok no anxiaty.I was arouwsed just from looking at her. A simple hug or a kiss would get me going, the sex was great. but something triggersed my old bielefs it and it came back. When they anxiaty came back some time wile kissing my girlfriend I got flash image of a guy who made me feel anxious that day and I think started to get aroused, but im not sure if its the kissing or the flash image I had. Now I go and visit and i tell my self ok just think of her because she's the one i love and all i want to think about. Don't think of the person who gave me anxious thoughts that day. And just about everytime I try not to think about my anxiaty it gets worse. Now I find myself allway wondering what my penis is doing around men. If it moves a bit i think im getting arouse because of the guy im around, so i check it. yesterday I was in the shower and i got a visectamy done after my second child. And my twin brother was going to get it done that day so I was thinking of checking to see of I had a scare there. But just before checking I was scared of getting a erection because they come easy in the morning and in the shower but decited to check anyway, when i moved my penis and looked for the scares I was thinking of the doctor who opperated on me, who was a male doing his opperation and I got an erection. Know im confuse the thought was not sexual did I get semi-erected because of me touching my penis and moving it around or was it the thought of the doctor. I Confused Please help

Hello friend,
OCD can make you feel crazy sometimes, but your are not alone. About one in 10 people with OCD have sexual orientation obsessions, just like you. It doesn't mean you are gay, it just means that your sexuality is important to you. The problem is that the rituals (in your case, the checking) fuels the problem. The more you check, the worse it will get. Resist the compulsions and the obsessions will start to fade. Is there someplace you can get help where you live? It would be best to see a therapist who specializes in OCD to help you get back to feeling like your old self.
Best of luck,
Dr. Williams

Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment:

Hi, I hope I am able to help you. You say you have been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder and it sounds like you are currently obsessing on whether you are gay or not. First, let me say that all humans have a trait that when they attempt to not think about something, it only makes us think of it more. That is a very normal occurrence. Secondly, even heterosexuals notice that people of both sexes are attractive. That doesn't mean they are bisexual or homosexual. It sounds as if your thoughts are stuck on worrying about your sexual orientation, causing you great anxiety and interfering with your happiness, relationship and peace of mind. Recurrent, intrusive thoughts are a classic symptom of OCD and you are not alone; millions of people suffer from this condition and can relate to the kind of problem you are having. I urge you to talk this out with a psychologist or other mental health professional. You may benefit from therapy or medication, giving you relief from this overwhelming anxiety. I'm happy you found the courage to ask about this. Best wishes to you!

Lucy Boyd, RN, BSN


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