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Brain Physics » Treatment » I have been married 34 years and am having an affair for the last 7 months..Is it possible to love 2 women?

I have been married 34 years and am having an affair for the last 7 months..Is it possible to love 2 women?

Submitted by dyearous Sun 01/31/2010

Unless you are having sexual impulse issues causing you to seek sexual relationships outside of your marriage then this is not a mental health question but rather a philosophical or moral one.

Our society frowns on cheating and there is a reason the norm is a relationship between two people. Whether you believe it for spiritual reasons or scientific ones, there is a reason for the saying two is company but three is a crowd.

Regardless, even if it is possible for you to love two women, how would your wife feel about it? You are not the only one in the relationship, and cheating on a partner can cause serious emotional consequences. Are you ready for an expensive and lengthy divorce? Asking if it's possible if one can love two people at the same time might just be a way for you to try and justify your actions and assuage your guilt. If you truly loved the first woman, you would have stayed away from the second.

I would recommend treading carefully, because this affects much more than just you, especially if you have children. You might also want to consider seeing a therapist to examine why you are feeling led to cheat and examining if you should even still be in your marriage at all.

Best of luck,
Dr. Williams

Monnica T. Williams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychology
No Cost OCD Treatment:

Dear Dr. Williams:

I read your advice to the man who was cheating on his wife and you advised him to get therapy. Please be aware that there are some psychologists "out there" who have stellar reputations. Take the one that swept me off my lonely feet: I knew him in high school. We met up again 35 years later. He talked me into an affair because he knew I loved him in high school. He is a specialist in victimization. His wife, also a psychologist, is a specialist in relationship issues. They have a practice together. He pursued me, said all the right things, knew I was lonely and we were off. He went out of his way in the romance department. When he was finished with me, he was finished with me and expected me to go quietly. I am bipolar and he also knew this before we became involved. Now, I realize my part in this mess - the immorality, etc., but he just walked away unscathed and I was left pretty damaged by this man. What is your advice for me?

Thank you.


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