HOCD? Please, Help Much Needed.

By the way, I am thirteen.

Hi Pleasehelpme,

Based on everything you describe - especially the fact that this started very suddenly - I am inclined to think that it is probably HOCD. With HOCD, your mind essentially plays tricks on you, which is what makes it all so confusing when you're experiencing it.

The part about having to "take it back" within a minute, that is a ritual that you are using to help alleviate the anxiety. As you've probably already experienced, it doesn't really help, does it?

If the depression and anxiety you are experiencing continues to persist - and especially if it is affecting your ability to function well (at school, at home, and socially), then I encourage you to talk to your parents about seeing a therapist (preferably someone very experienced in treating OCD with cognitive behavioral therapy - as not all types of therapy are helpful with OCD). You may not need to tell them all about the types of thoughts you're having, but most parents would want to get their child help if they are experiencing significant anxiety and depression.

I hope this helps, and glad to know your sister has been supportive.

Thank you so much, Dr.Lane. You have definetly gave me much relief. I hope you don't mind that if I have any questions about this, that you can answer them for my reassurance in the process of finding myself again. Everytime I forget about this subject, I feel a lot better. The one thing that bothers me while forgetting, that reminds me all over again is that this isnt over and what you are feeling will come back again some time. I feel like I want to get over this all at once, and never ever doubt myself ever again.

Dr.Lane, I have a question that I have been pondering. I remember when I was in third grade and I used to sit in a table all boys,me being the only girl. One of the boys told me about a celebrity who posted naked pictures of herself. I didnt believe him so I went to look it up and when I did, I remember feeling really uncomfortable. Really I did, I remember I felt this bad feeling in my chest and stomach. But then I remember looking for other pictures of naked woman celebritys. Of course, I didnt even question myself into thinking that I liked them. But I dont know why I did , and that has been bothering me lately. I really dont know what Im asking, but can you please tell me what you think?

That sounds like pretty normal curiosity for someone in the third grade. Most likely, at that age, you hadn't seen pictures of nake women (or men) before, so it's normal to be curious, regardless of the sex of the people in the photos.

Dr.Lane, I dont know what is happening to me now. All of a sudden all this anxiety hit me out of nowhere about being bisexual. Everytime I look at a pretty girl I get all scared, and my heart starts beating and Im just frozen in my seat, I dont know how this happened, I was fine...Ive been fine for a few months just shaken up but all of a sudden it just came down on me so fast, and now I get such a horrible feeling inside. What worries me is that, what if since I kind of just turned thirteen, I am going through another stage of puberty...but I dont think that can be because I had my first crush in kindergarten, and he was my boyfriend for that year,haha. And Ive had all sort of crushes since then, on boys only. Can you explain please?

Happy New Year, and thank you for all your help.

Early adolescence is a challenging time, since your body is going through all sorts of changes. Hormones can certainly contribute to your issues with anxiety.

As I said early on, this sounds more like OCD symptoms than anything else, and for you, they seem to come and go. But without more information I can't say for sure what exactly is going on. If it continues, I do recommend you talk to your parents about seeing a therapist for an evaluation.

You might also consider talking to a school counselor if talking to your parents is not something you feel comfortable doing.

Dr.Lane, sorry to bother you again. Ive been wondering about some things. There is a girl on my bus, and I think she is pretty, and now Im afraid that I like her. I dont want to, but Im afraid that I want too. I feel like my HOCD symptoms are waring off, and now its just not HOCD anymore, and that makes me scared, because I dont want to be bisexual. I dont have anything against them though. I dont know what to do! I always have the thoughts in the back of my mind but I feel like I can control them now. Any thing you can please tell me? Thank you.

HOCD symptoms can make you think you like someone (although as you said, you don't want to) - but again, it's hard to say without more information. I'm still inclined to think this is HOCD. I, again, encourage you to start working with a therapist.

Dear Dr.Lane,
AGAIN, sorry to bother. When I look at pretty girls I get a tingly feeling that I just want to go away. I dont know what is happening. The thing that bugs me is that, again, what if this is a stage of puberty. But obviously the idea of liking a girl bothers me to much for me to like it. I always liked guys. Even kind of have a crush on a guy right now, and I really want to at least be his friend. This really sucks, and also there is a new girl, and she is kind of pretty, and again I get that tingly sensation. I dont think Im attracted to boobs because I change in the locker room all the time and most of us just take our pants off and our shirts off including me and a lot of pretty girls wear thongs but I dont stare at them because I dont like it,(JUST PREVIEWED THIS AND I FORGOT THE DONT PART!! THANK GOD I CAUGHT THAT!) I dont even stare at them at all. I quickly turn away because I just dont want to see that. (isnt it wierd that some of us are already wearing thongs?!?!) And yes a lot of us have developed EARLY or FAST! So you know, and really when Im in the locker room suprisingly I dont even get nervous, I just feel normal in there, probably because I have other things on my mind, especially it being after lunch. I am thinking about talking with the guidance counselor. At least to shake my depression. Im planning on meditating and going through the process of getting my life back step by step. Can you please tell me all your opinions and thoughts about my questions, recently and before too? I just want to be reassured and I think it would be easier to reassure me than most of us because its been seven months now. Thank you so much for all your help.

P.S. Can you tell me the difference between HOCD "crushes" and real crushes? It would kind of help me sort things out.

By the way, the tingly sensations are out of nervousness as far as I know, and uncomfort.

Pleasehelpme,

Overall, I think you've answered your own question by your last statement: you feel tingly from the anxiety or nervousness, and that feeling is uncomfortable, not pleasant.

In the locker room, it doesn't sound like you're getting turned on by the other girls; if you were gay, that would probably be a very different story.

As for thinking a girl is pretty, that's perfectly normal for someone who is straight. You can admire someone's physical attractiveness without being romantically or sexually attracted to them.

As for the difference between an HOCD crush and a real crush? Well, an HOCD crush is going to make you feel more anxious. It's not fun or exciting like a real crush.

I hope this helps answer your questions!

It definetly did. Thank you.

i am sailing in the same boat....
an year ago...in april 2011 i got a doubt and it reached an extent where i was finding it difficult to get off from the bed...

a very simple thing is that : since u feeling worried about being attracted to girls...then datz not an attraction... tell me have u ever felt WORRIED about liking a guy..?? NO...liking a guy for a girl is full of excitement.....U r not attracted to girls...your mind is just playing bad tricks...and believe me..ocd is such a big lair that all these situations seem real...

dont worry about such things in life....YOU LIVE ONLY ONCE....dont even think about wasting ur time behind thinking about these thoughts as now u r assured that they r not real...therz a lot to njoy...DO WHAT YOU WANT AS ITS YOUR LIFE...DONT GIVE A DAMN TO YOUR OCD THOUGHTS..

i hope i helped..god bless...!!

and another important thing is that people turn bisexual out of their choice and liking...and not out of any worries or obsessions....and they are proud,happy and satisfied about it..