I need help again.....

So my mind is constantly telling me "I'm gay". And I'm now 99% convinced I am. Yesterday I was having serious trouble with my anxiety. I was watching a music video and my mind kept making me think I wanted to kiss the girl in the video, and normally in the past this would have bothered me, but yesterday I'm not sure if it's because of my mind telling me "I'm gay" constantly or what but my mind stopped stressing and then when I realized it my anxiety hit worse than ever I started shaking and my stomach was hurting and contracting. So then I decided I must be gay, but if this is hocd we better try and deal with it. I looked up success stories and ways to get over HOCD. I came across this one sucess story, that a guy wrote. He basically said he did everything his mind pushed away, if he was worried about intrusive images, he would purposely think about them. If he was being intimate with his girlfriend and would get the images, he would purposely think of them and they went away as quick as they came and he thought about girls again. He did everything he was scared to do. So I thought I should try this out, but with girls of course. So last night I was watching Wedding Crashers and I used his methods, everything that I pushed away because of my anxiety I actually searched for. It worked!!! I kept telling myself to accept, that life goes on. My attraction still isn't back and this morning my fears hit worse than ever. So I keep going back to memories that prove that I could be gay. When I was younger, 12 I had HOCD, a minuscule amount compared to now. But I went home crying from school one day asking my mom if I was gay, she asked me all these questions about if I wanted to kiss any of my friends or ever thought girls were cute amd I would always respond "ewww gross" or "no I like boys" so I finally dismissed the thoughts by saying "I'm bi" and I went back to my boy-loving self. That summer I met some new friends. One was this tomboy girl and I admired her because I thought she was cool and wanted her to be my friend because she kind of reminded me of my big sister. I think she's actually gay now and it never seemed like a crush just an admiration. But my mind keeps focusing on that memory. Last June when I first started having the anxiety, thoughts, and compulsive checking, I told my mom that I admired her and I thought that made me gay. Again, we didn't know what this anxiety was or why I was worrying about it to begin with, she asked me some questions and all of my responses were "eww no" or "heck no". I don't know why but I can always tell if a boy or girl is gay, which I heard only gay people can do? And that initially started my anxiety. Anyways, I decided maybe if I accept it it would give me peace. So I tried and it worked for a bit. But then I had to start questioning and wondering again. So I texted a Guy friend, for some reason texting him always helps, but I think is a form of reassurance because I am always so happy talking to him and then the anxiety comes back. I am always so giddy talking to him and when I talk to my girl friends I always worry they will say something to bring my anxiety up so I always cut our conversations short. But the thing is when I'm talking to him my mind says "I'm gay" and I keep talking to him, which digs me in a deeper hole. IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG AND SCATTER BRAINED. Back when I was taking herbal medication, my mom doesn't like the idea of hardcore medication, it was definitely working and I felt more feminine than ever and I didn't care what I was and I was actually like "why do I care? I'll figure it out when I'm older", and that's what I felt when I made myself accept and face my thoughts head on. So what I'm basically asking is the way I felt when I was accepting and taking my medication is that what I should normally feel like? Because I've never been happier and I didn't care the outcome as long as I got to be with an amazing guy one day.