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Legit Question
Dr.Lane,
I know I posted alot of stuff before just talking about my experiences or venting, but I really do have a legitament question this time. I was wondering if OCD can cause random episodes of panic? I mean, sometimes, I feel so much panic that my heart is beating so fast, I feel like my chest is being ripped apart. But it is coupled with anxiety, however, I dont get HOCD thoughts during those panic episodes? So can OCD morph to the point that I dont even need to have HOCD thoughts to panic? Btw, I am working with a therapist right now, not a real good one to be hoenst, just came out of school. But its the best I can afford, I have been writing down my fears, its so stupid, I dont feel better at all, perhaps even worse. Thats why I consult you, and anyways I dont even feel comfortable talking to the therapist in person.
-TheGeneral
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Legitimate questions are
Legitimate questions are fine. First, I am very glad to hear you are working with a therapist. Don't assume that he/she isn't very good just because he/she is just out of school (I assume grad school). But I encourage you to be open with him/her, as that will help the process.
If your therapist is having you write down your fears, and you don't feel it is helping (or that it is making you feel worse), tell the therapist. That information is important. Keep in mind that sometimes (I don't know if this is the case for you) people do feel worse before they start feeling better when they are in therapy. But again, let your therapist know.
As for the panic - Panic typically isn't part of OCD, and if it is, it would most likley be triggered by the obsessive thoughts. It may be that you have panic disorder as well. I don't know. I encourage you to tell your therapist about the panic as well.
When you do feel the panic come on, pay attention to what happened just before - so you can see if there is a pattern - something that is triggering it (a thought, a place, a situation, etc). Also, when you feel it hit, one of the most important things for you to do is stop and just focus on your breathing for a couple of minutes. Take slow, deep breaths until you start to feel calmer. There are other things to do as well, and hopefully your therapist can help you with those as well.
Dr. Lane
Yeah, now I think about it,
Yeah, now I think about it, the panic is being triggered by the thoughts after-all, but in a wierd way, I get panic because I dont even get anxiety, and if I dont get anxiety, I panic. Because I am scared I accepted these HOCD thoughts. Ususally it is a thought that would trigger a panic attack, would be some unwanted, disturbing and disgusting (sexual) image popping into my mind, my mind goes crazy, I cringe, I feel like a blackness closes on me, I go numb, I could see my heart beating so hard and fast, I start to sweat, it seems so surreal, my lungs tell me I need to breathe, but my brain refuses to let me breathe. Sometimes, I become so sad, I feel like I am being forced into something that is not me, by my own mind. I dont want to be a homo, I could never be happy. Yet I feel like I am being forced into it. I had everything before, now its been destroyed. I had mild HOCD 2 month ago, I didnt get panic attack, just had to check, but now it has become a more or less 24 hour thing for me. And I panic so much now.