Hi Dr. Lane :D

Submitted by hocd15 Thu 06/02/2011

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Hi Dr. Lane :D

I'm actually not only scared of being lesbian but also of being bisexual, because honestly, I can only see myself spending my life/romantically loving a man, and not a woman. I'm scared because I don't want my anxiety to hinder me having a relationship with a guy. Honestly, I'm really scared that this anxiety that I'm feeling is from the fact that maybe I'm afraid to admit to myself and the rest of the world that I'm bi/lesbo...does that still fall under HOCD, having the fear that what I fear is actually coming out?

I just really don't want to like/have a relationship w/ girls, not even a smidge. If I was bisexual, wouldn't it be that I prefer to have a romantic relationship w/ either sexes? I also wanted to ask you what the difference is between a straight woman acknowledging a girl is attractive, sexy, etc and a lesbian/bisexual doing that?

Also, does it matter that before, when I was young, I didn't like girls AT ALL? like, being w/ one never even crossed my mind, and the thing that made me question my sexuality wasn't liking a girl, it was a talkshow that was interviewing a lesbian coming out.

I have read a lot of coming out stories, and I have this fear that maybe I am just now discovering that I'm a lesbian, maybe this is that "phase", but I've never rly liked women, nor do I wanna be w/ one.

You can't really just wake up one day and realize that you're a lesbian/bisexual right?

Thank you very much for all your time and help, your answers have given me so much relief, hopefully i can fight through this! :)

To answer your first

Submitted by Dr. Lane on Mon, 06/06/2011 - 10:53pm.

To answer your first question: yes, that is still HOCD.

As for your second question - a straight woman can admire / acknowledge another woman's attractiveness or sexiness but it's not the same as being "attracted" to the other woman. Does that make sense? Admiring and acknowledging that someone of the same sex is attractive doesn't make a person gay. But someone who is gay will have a sexual attraction to that person (just as you would to a guy that you found attractive).

I hope that helps to clarify the difference.

—

Dr. Lane

For Treatment Options Call (877) 331-9311

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