First and foremost, you need professional help. Get it ASAP. You are not in the right state of mind when you are depressed. Your mind is not thinking clearly. There are numerous suicide help lines. Check out http://www.suicide-helplines.org/. Please post to let everyone know you are all right.
I have been down on that chasm looking up and not wanting to climb out. I thought of suicide several times myself. Suicide is not the answer. Focus on the positives in life not the negatives. Don�t listen to the IDIOT and COWARD who gave you a link to kill yourself. That person will have to answer to a higher power sooner or later. You have to find the courage and will inside you to fight. I know it is hard for you right now but I believe everyone has that power inside them to live. Let me share some inspirational quotes and self help techniques that have personally helped me:
There are no limitations to the person who refuses to accept them.
Zen Proverb
The past is an illusion. You must learn to live in the present and accept for what you are now.
Bruce Lee
When a negative thought enters my mind, I visualize it as being written on a piece of paper. Then I visualize myself wadding the paper into a tight ball. Then I mentally light it on fire and visualize it burning to a crisp. The negative thought is destroyed never to enter my mind again.
Bruce Lee on Handling Negative Thoughts
Conquering yourself is a slow, often arduous process but it can be done by maintaining discipline and respect for yourself and others.
Chuck Norris
If you learn to think positively, your subconscious will go along, even working for you while you sleep.
Chuck Norris
During inhalation imagine a very thin thread is drawn in uninterruptedly through the nostrils and flows down the spinal column, where it is held for a few seconds in the lower abdomen (3 inches below the naval). Three quarters of the air is then exhaled gently through the mouth in a steady, concentrated, powerful but relaxed, steam- the sound of the exhale resembling an �aah�.
Zen Breathing Technique for Relaxation
I had a similar problem hurting a cat when I was eleven . I�ll even say I enjoyed it to some extent (because I don�t like cats). My childhood sucked. Father was an alcoholic etc. I guess I was somehow venting and taking out my frustrations in life on the cat. I was worried that I was or would become a sociopath. But in retrospect, I wouldn�t harm the cat today. How do I know? Because I have a conscience. I agree with Straitye. Sociopaths don't worry about being a sociopath. By definition, people like that feel nothing about hurting others. So the fact that you worry about it proves that you are not one. I have learned to some extent to deal with my harming OCD. I have impulses and thoughts of harming my sons. At first it was hell on earth. I wanted to end my life because I could not bear the thought of harming my sons. Therapy, medication, and Tai Chi have helped me tremendously.
Logan