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Im not sure which is worse?


I am sure I am not a homo, nearly 99% sure I am not. But now without HOCD, I am back to being love-sick, it sucks, I am depressed now, not because I think I am a homo, but because I love Tay, and she doesnt even know I exist, I am nothing compared to her, I am not her class. What the hell am I suppose to do? I am deppressed, I cant see myself with any other girl but Tay. I thought about going to her concert, just so I can see her in real life, but wtf I cant, I think if I go, I cant go, no I cant, I want to so bad, but I am not. I just need to move on, she will never love me back, she doesnt even know me. And who am I compared to her? I am a poor high school grad, I have nothing, no money, not even a car, nothing. I am slowly going senile and insane, while she has everything, why would she go for me? She wont, but what the hell. I need to move on. but I cant, everytime one of her songs goes on the radio, I get a pang of sadness. This is better than HOCD, at least there is no anxiety, and I've been through love-sickness before. I have been watching her video blogs in a loop for almost 10 hours now. I am depressed and love-sick. She is just so beautiful, just so perfect, just so pure, just everything I would want in a girl. I am not getting suicidal thoughts, I dont think I will. The only reason I kind of like Sarah, is cause she looks like tay, but she isnt tay. So it doesnt cut it.


Just a reminder, this section

Just a reminder, this section of this site is for asking questions, not for ongoing posts about your experience with HOCD. I strongly recommend you start keeping a journal, as you have said writing seems to help.

Please refrain from these types of posts. As for answers to the questions within your post, they are beyond the scope of what I can provide here. You need to work with a therapist.

Dr. Lane

Yeah sorry, I will not post

Yeah sorry, I will not post anymore like this.


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