Being A Friend To Someone with OCD

Having OCD is difficult, and so is being patient with a friend who has the symptoms.

Especially when the symptoms are intense and seem to “take over,” it is important for both friend and sufferer to keep symptoms separate from the human being. People experience symptoms but should never be mistaken for them.

If an individual gradually or quickly develops a change in prior behavior patterns, it can signify that this person is struggling internally with something. It may appear that daily life has become a chore or a struggle for him or her because it has. The symptoms that signify a disorder are an energy drain and interfere with the accomplishment of everyday tasks.

People who have OCD may:

• Do things repeatedly; check things repeatedly.
• Spend large periods of time alone in the bathroom, in the bedroom getting dressed, doing tasks such as homework or cleaning.
• Frequently or always be late finishing tasks or arriving places.
• Frequently ask for reassurance.
• Distrust their own judgment, be indecisive.
• Be highly irritable; have extreme emotional reactions to insignificant matters.
• Have problems sleeping; stay up late to get things accomplished.
• Take a longer than usual time performing simple tasks.
• Avoid, isolate, be preoccupied.

Five Things That Can Make OCD Symptoms Worse

1. Receiving anger, criticisms, or blame for having OCD “traits.”
2. Going through any kind of change, even if the change is welcome.
3. Being in conflict, especially with family or intimate friends. Naturally, not all conflict can or should be avoided.
4. Receiving a continuous tally of progress.
5. Being engaged in constant conversation or questions around OCD, including moods or symptoms.

To cut down on conflict, it is helpful to discuss some things ahead of time:

• How much, if any, assistance you will give your friend with their compulsions.
• How much time will be spent talking about OCD.
• How much reassurance will be expected and given.
• How the compulsions impact on your life mentally and emotionally.

Seven Actions That May Be Helpful

1. Recognize and be appreciative of your friend’s small improvements.
2. Educate yourself about OCD.
3. If medication is a treatment of choice, support that choice and ask or educate yourself about the possible side effects of the medication.
4. When asked for reassurance, avoid long explanations or debates. You cannot create certainty in an uncertain world anyway. There is no way to prove that a person should not worry.
5. Treat your friend as the capable individual they are; they can manage their symptoms and spend time alone.
6. Friends and family members need to spend time pursuing their own interests.
7. As much as possible, keep conversations free of OCD-speak and keep friendship routines normal. An OCD person’s rituals should not become a family or friendship affair since that only serves to reinforce the symptom and spark friendship resentment.

Source: International OCD Foundation