15 months ago, my wife became pregnant with our second child, and she had a very difficult pregnancy. Sex during the pregnancy was pretty much non-existant due to the nature of the complications. (I must add that at the time, vaginal sex was the only thing in our minds. In retrospect, anal sex would not have been included in the Doctor's precautions. I suppose I should add that she had plecenta previa, and basically the Doctor said vaginal sex could do damage if there was any thrusting against the cervix). So almost as soon as we knew she was pregnant, and that there were some complications, we have not had sex.
Well, I have been very good at respecting my wife, but I have also been very good at trying to come up with acceptable alternatives to what used to be our "normal" vaginal sex encounter. I started to talk to her about anal sex as an alternative. She did allow me to try it once, but at the time, I didn't really know how to prepare her for it, and so I set us back, actually.
Since the baby has been born, guess what? More complications. First of all, she said that since she has given birth to our two children, that she shouldn't have to be the one to have surgery and get fixed. I agreed. I was getting ready to go through the proceedure, and lost my job. I now have a good job, but on commission with no benefits. So I can't afford the expense right now, and the vasectomy is on indefinite hold. Second to that, my wife absolutely under no uncertain terms (to which I agree) will not get pregnant again, because after two difficult pregnancies, she would be a severe health risk. Thirdly, when we have tried vaginal sex since the birth, she has been very sore due to a level 2 (forgot the technical name) incision the Dr. had to cut to keep her from tearing.
So for all three of these reasons, I have once again brought up the subject of anal sex. My wife is open to the idea, execept for one really huge thing in her mind. She feels that she would be going against God's will, and she would feel really dirty, and low. I have tried a million different ways to get her to not feel this way. I have tried to tell her that yes, if she was fooling around with other men, doing any type of sex outside of marriage, that she should feel this way. But I have tried to explain that anything that we do sexually, inside of our marriage, as long as we both agree to it is ok. And I used that verse in Hebrews as my foudation for this stand.
The problem that we seem to have is that any material I can show her to support my stand is from the internet, or a book from a "non" Christian book store. "Show me a book or something from a Christian author," she says. And I can't, or haven't yet found one.
Christian authors for the most part are against homosexuality, and therefore their discussion of anal sex is from that point of view. Either that, or they use some form of medical reason to just pass if off as of no benefit in one sentence of less in a 300 page book.
So I am desperate to find material from a Christian source that is sensetive to my wife, but that alleviates her fears.
Please help,
Man very "deprived"